Sheboygan tried to make him resign, he said, no no no

You can read the article yourself here and here.  Basically, Bob Ryan went on a bender.

We like Charlie, so here's a shot from before he started winning so hard.

We’re not going to bash a guy with a drinking problem too hard, but we do want to highlight some classic quotes from the Mayor of Wisconsin’s 13th largest city.  We really have to hand it to the guy, he’s in absolutely no denial about his situation and concurrently has notable confidence in his abilities – must be the tiger blood.

“I do not blame the council for asking for my resignation.  What I did is indefensible.  I’m not proud of it.  I’m an alcoholic.”
“I’ve been successful in spite of it, and I will continue to be successful.”
“Alcohol has never affected the way I do my job.”
“I have never walked into a city meeting or council meeting under the influence of alcohol.”

Fuck no I’m not resigning!

“Did I pass out on a bar?  Yes I did.  I’ll admit that.  Was I in a scuffle?  Yes.  Did I start it?  No, I did not.”

It seems that we haven’t heard the last from Mayor Bob Ryan.

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Summerfest and Closing Wolski’s

Summerfest happened again this year.  It never really changes.  There’s so much history and tradition.  It’s always a financial success.  There’s a lot to love. There’s also a lot to criticize, especially regarding all the wasted fucking potential in repeatedly featuring so many lame, mainstream acts in such an ideal, beer-soaked location.

Kinda dreamy eh?

Dear Summerfest:  Hi.  Long time attendee, first time caller.  We wonder if you’ve ever checked out Lollapalooza or Pitchfork down in Chicago?  Ever even heard of Bonnaroo or Coachella?  Summer Camp, Electronic Forest, or North Coast would be way too much for you so please stay away for your own health (maybe just read their websites?).  There’s also this thing way out in Nevada where they get naked and burn a bunch of shit, but we won’t even mention that by name – you should just know it happens.  You’re the biggest, and that’s great, you get full credit for that.  But how about some edge?  How about some creativity?  How about having one day, ONE DAY, where all the acts have underground and/or indie cred – JUST ONE FUCKING DAY!  Or expand the grounds, even if only for the Fest, to include “Landfill State Park“.  You can put up another stage or two and isolate all the indie freaks out there if you want.  Maybe art installations?  Insane I know, but we have the technology.  This would also nearly double the size of the grounds.  These ideas are not revolutionary.  Anyway, fuck you Summerfest.  We hate you.  But we love you.  And we hate that we love you.  Love, Defend-Wisconsin.  PS – We beat you because we care so much.

This never happens at Summerfest.

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Sconnie Beer

Sconnie Beer now has a can design and the Sconnie Nation guys look to be sampling different brews.  They’re making good progress and we’re impressed with the whole outfit so far.  Yet, we remain vigilant.  They’re carrying a big flag here and Defend-Wisconsin will be the first to deliver retribution if they turn this into a debacle.

Note: A sample case sent directly to our headquarters will go a long way toward continued coverage and favorable reviews.

We like where this is going.

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The Brewers are Good this Year?

It has come to our attention that the Milwaukee Brewers are in first place. We’re not big fans of baseball and weren’t even really aware they still played the game. However, childhood memories die hard and it’s time to remind ourselves of those who have come before.

Gorman Thomas is a man beast. Look at him, he's magnificent.

Cecil Cooper made first base his bitch.

Robin Yount is the best Brewer in history. A mint version of his rookie card is worth around $3k.

Jim Gantner was never fancy, but he got the job done every time.

Paul Molitor: Great player and class act.

Rollie Fingers rocked a 'stache like no other before or since. His facial hair stands as an icon for all that is right with humanity.

Pete Vukovitch would kick your ass and all your friends' asses in a bar fight.

Ted Simmons, eight-time all star.

And let us not forget Ben Oglivie, Charlie Moore, Moose Haas, Don Sutton, Don Money, Roy Howell, and Harvey Kuenn.  May this post serve as good luck and motivation to whoever the hell currently plays for the Crew.  If they win the pennant we promise them a post just like this one.

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Awesome People Hanging Out Together

Defend-Wisconsin employs cool kids to keep us hip to the scene.  They recently told us about a Tumblr blog that is amazing.  And that’s what the cool kids are into right?  The Tumblr?  Anyway, we weren’t convinced by the title, but upon going through the damn thing for a few seconds we couldn’t stop.  Awesome People Hanging Out Together is worth your time, seriously.  Here’s the smallest of tastes:

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Minnesota is Running Out of Alcohol

Minnesota decided to shut down their state government a while back.  We don’t really know why or even care that much.  Something to do with taxes?  Spending?  It’s not clear.  Doesn’t the Tea Party hate government?  Maybe they came in and did it.

Here's a picture of Prince.

Regardless, Minnesota is running out of booze.  The law over there says distributors have to put a tax stamp on all the booze they sell.  No stamp, no sale.  Since the government is no longer functioning, there’s nobody to issue these stamps (or something like that).  Now, if there’s no state government, why are they worried about state law?  Again, we just don’t know what goes on over there.  As long as they keep producing hot Scando-Germanic chicks and sucking at football, we’re cool.

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Sconnie Beer is Coming.

We like where this is going.

The boys over at Sconnie Nation have been taking beer can designs.  This can only lead to good things.  We are closely following this story and will keep you posted on all new developments.

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