The Chicago Bears are Terrible

When this story came to our attention at Defend-Wisconsin HQ, everyone LOL-ed.  Some of us ROFL-ed.  One of the interns even wet himself.  The wetting didn’t have anything to do with the story, the plate in his head just does that to him sometimes when people send text messages.  Anyway, the Chicago Bears are incapable of watering their own goddamned field and brutally disappointed thousands of fans last Friday.  We’re not making this shit up.

They were having a “Family Fest” public practice at Soldier Field for which they sold tickets, but when they walked on the field it was all dried up and shit.  This was only about an hour before the damn thing was scheduled to start and after thousands had battled traffic and heat to get to the stadium.  Rather than have the team sign some autographs, take pictures with the kids, or even TELL THE FANS ANYTHING, they got on their bus and went back to their practice facility at Olivet Nazarene University.  You know little kids were totally crying.  Nice work assholes.

Soldier Field general manager had this to say, “We did not put enough water on this field, I’m not going to try and sugar-coat that in any way.”  Brilliant.  If only Chicago had gotten more rain lately.  Oh, wait.

Since we're totally nice guys, we offered to help.

The Northwest Herald covered the story nicely:

Eight-year-old Joseph Cholico never will forget how he felt after his first visit to Soldier Field to see the Bears. “Not really happy,” Cholico said.  There you have it.

Leave it to the Chicago Park District and the Bears to fumble away what should have been a perfect night to connect with some of the team’s youngest fans. The Bears canceled their annual “Family Fest” practice with exactly one hour’s notice Friday because of poor field conditions.

Instead of taking the field at 7 p.m., the Bears were headed south on I-57 to return to training camp at Olivet Nazarene University in Bourbonnais. There, the Bears conducted an evening practice that was closed to the public and the news media.  Meanwhile, thousands of disappointed Bears fans prepared to head home.

80% of the population of Green Bay could die in an Ebola outbreak and Lambeau Field would still be kept pristine.

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1 Response to The Chicago Bears are Terrible

  1. Pingback: The Chicago Bears are Terrible II |

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