The stars are aligned perfectly and a cascade of the purest awesome has fallen upon us. Not only is it time for the Wisconsin State Fair, which is a blessing completely on its own, but MC Hammer, Tone Loc, and fucking Young MC are headlining opening night! Fuck. To. The. Yeah. The Defend-Wisconsin staff have been Hammer dancing all week.
We know you’re far, far too legit’ to miss this, so bust a move on down to sunny West Allis and wash this sick show down with a cold beer or four, some cream puffs, and chocolate covered bacon on a stick. Holy Dammit.
Other high spots in the lineup include ZZ Top, Whitesnake, Skid Row (sadly, minus Sebastian Bach), and the god damned Oak Ridge Boys. Overload, complete overload.
Fine, we’ll admit that much of the above musical commentary may be slightly ironic. In all seriousness though, most of these acts are on the tail end of long and very successful careers – so why not milk it as long as possible? We sure would. And the animal exhibits are fun for the kids too – plenty of education and wholesomeness to go around.
Anyway, can you imagine the amazing memorabilia you could pick up at these shows? When we go cruising for college tail on Water Street in Eau Claire (end of August, get ready) my Oak Ridge Boys shirt will be a pure pussy magnet.
Lastly, a shout-out is required for West Allis, the home of the Fair. How cool is this town? Cool enough for EIGHTEEN urban dictionary entries (four for “West Allis” and 14 for “Stallis“). Peace out and remember, tickets are still available.